Basic Vocabulary 

The vocabulary of dreams is symbolic, but the language of dreams is more than a series of dream dictionary definitions.

This is one of the key lessons I learned in my recent Rhine Research and Education Center course, Dreams and Altered States. It probably wasn't the primary, or intended lesson, but I found it anyway, layered in between the pages of Professor Loyd Auerbach book Psychic Dreams—which was our text for the course.

Language is always a form of translation. We take thoughts and experiences and objects we have seen or possessed and pair them up with words. In this sense, language is a simple substitution game devised by our ancient ancestors, rediscovered over and over again by toddlers and still utilized by the most articulate of adults today. 

By substitution, we communicate basic needs. Common words for common things. Coffee. Ink pen. Quiet. 

Then there is the bigger game where spoken, and most especially written, language takes flight and finds itself capable of poetry and metaphor and almost limitless symbolism. To my mind, this is the way that dreams and ordinary language overlap. 

Unlike word-based communication, however, the vocabulary of dreams is made out of images.

Dreaming in Symbols

As an autistic, aphantasic (mind-blind) person I find the idea of concepts as images fascinating. 

If I thought in pictures as I'm told the ordinary person does—I would be so distracted by symbolism I would be veering off course all of the time. For me, the thousand words inherent in every picture can be a very literal thing and I think this is true for everyone to a degree.

In everyday thought and conversation, of course, there is one primary meaning or label or name for any one given thing. This is why language exists and how it developed. But it is the inherent complexity of symbolism that makes it possible for free-association, particularly in writing, to take us places we could never predict. 

And this is especially true of dreams.

Not all dreams are meaningful, of course. Some can be sourced in the stress of the day or worries buried deep in our subconscious or in the existent light or sound that bleeds into our sleeping awareness. The best dreams, however, come from somewhere else and this is where Professor Auerbach's book and what it has to say about how dreams are constructed comes in. 

Psychic Dreams explains that dreams are a narrative built from sensory, psychological or psychic input. Specific examples of each input type are included along with various theories that attempt to explain them. The theory I found most interesting was that of neuroscientist J. Allan Hobson, who believes that our dream narratives are drawn from our own neurobiology.

According to this perspective, the firing of neurons are translated into images and images are then made into story. 

This idea stopped me cold—even though it is something I suspect most people have already thought about). To me, the idea that we are translating from firing neurons, to pictures, to narrative seemed very important. Especially because, in the cases of psychic dreams, I believe that these neurons are influenced by something not us.

Received Information

In one of his books or talks, biophysicist Rupert Sheldrake shares an analogy. 

Imagine that you know nothing of radios and that you assume that the sound is generated by the radio itself. To test your theory, you open the radio and remove some of the parts. When you see that the radio no longer functions, you may assume that you have understood how a radio works. But you would be wrong.

This, according to Sheldrake, is how many scientists approach the brain. And it is how a lot of them approach dreams as well. The parts do matter, obviously, but they are not the fundamental truth of minds or radios.

Dreams and Altered States was a comprehensive course. I learned about altered states and parapsychology, out of body experience, near death experience, the specific science of dreams and more. I was reminded that Rupert Sheldrake is right in saying that the mind is the receiver. 

I was convinced that the research into psychic dreams is valid and that the information communicated through dreams matters—and I was fascinated by the idea that we are the subconscious translators of all we receive.

Now I have more questions. Some have answers. Others might not. But I think they are all worth asking. Here are the ones on my mind this morning.

Who or what is transmitting?

How can we be better receivers?

How can we best understand our own translation?

What is discernment and how does it apply to dream interpretation?

Why are we so compelled by the mystery of dreams?

_____________________

I may be writing something about the parallels between dream construction and meaning and the way autistic people process life in AutisticWriters.com at some future point.

Psychic Dreams (affiliate link) is available through Amazon and elsewhere. Please note, that if you buy Psychic Dreams though my Amazon affiliate link, I may receive a small commission at no cost to you.

For more on about the Rhine Research Center and their wonderful online classes, please visit RhineOnline.org

The Dream Gate Dream

A couple of weeks ago, I had a lucid dream about a high ancient-looking stone wall. The wall was covered with vines and there was a recessed rustic plank gate or doorway. The overall effect was medieval and charming. 

It might have been dusk or overcast in the dream but I could see everything clearly. Just above the doorway, I saw a symbol that looked like a triquetra. I even exclaimed (in the dream) "that's a triquetra," except I actually said "trifecta," as in horse racing, because things get garbled for me in dreams. Either way, I was excited because I love all things Celtic, so I woke up in the middle of the night and recorded the dream (and drew the symbol) in my dream journal.

Earlier that month, I’d been told that ancient dreamers were always on the lookout for gateways in their dreams. Since my impression in the dream was that I was seeing a wall, not a building, I felt that what looked like a door to modern eyes was technically a gate.  

So I made myself go back to sleep and back into the dream. I found the door again easily and everything was the same—except that instead of the symbol above the door, there was a long narrow sign with lettering. 

Annoyingly, I find it hard to read in dreams and I couldn’t read the sign. I woke up again and wrote down the second dream and went back to sleep, but I didn't go back to the door, that night, or go through it. 

When I woke up the next morning I was thinking how nice it was that I dreamt about the triquetra which I remembered as representing the Trinity and the Welsh triads and other pleasant things. Then I looked at my dream journal and saw that the symbol I had drawn had three interlocking triangles instead of three loops. 

I was pretty sure I remembered the triangle symbol from a past obsession with mythology. I thought that it was probably Scandinavian and when I googled it, there it was. 

It was not a triquetra. It was a valknot.

No one is absolutely sure what the valknot symbolizes. Due to its presence on Old Norse funerary items, however, it has been associated with the dead. My thoughts on the dream in light of this particular symbol were that this door is closed and maybe it should stay closed. Or maybe not. 

One Gate, Two Perspectives?

And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. —Matthew 18:18

Then Holy Week came and I noticed another gate / doorway in the Icon of the Resurrection which is traditionally displayed in Eastern Christian churches at Easter.

The Icon of the Resurrection shows Jesus standing on the broken down gates of the netherworld as He pulls Adam and Eve from their tombs to freedom. You can also see King David, Moses, John the Baptist and others. On the left below Jesus and the fallen gates are broken locks and the devil, bound. This is what Jesus did after the crucifixion when he defeated death.

Dreams are many things to me—a vehicle through which my guardian angel shares information, a template for my creative work, a font of mystical experience (rarely) and more. I have had some unusual spiritual experiences in dreams and I don't always fully understand them.

Some of my most interesting spiritual dreams seem to be about various afterlife locations. And I can't help wondering if the gate I dreamt about symbolized (or opened into) one of them. I also feel like the Icon of the Resurrection may have portrayed a similar or even the same gate, from a Christian perspective.

What Does This All Mean?

When it comes to dreams, the question is always the same. What does it mean?

And the truth is, I'm not sure. I'd had a tough week. Historically, several close family members have died in April including my mother (April 15). Then there is the Passion which is less brutal than it is hopeful but still pretty darned brutal overall. 

This year a family member was hospitalized on Holy Saturday with a serious illness and stayed in the hospital through Easter and into this week. Various small and not so small things went wrong. Some people were kind and others were not. I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep.

So I don't actually know if I'm ready to figure out this particular dreams. But I have considered some of the questions it brought up for me. Please note, I'm not asking the dream these questions, but I have been praying and reflecting.

Should I go through that particular dream doorway?

Given the connection with the valknot and the icon and the fact that the gate was closed, I think not or at least not yet. 

Should I keep working with my dreams?

I think so. The key for me is to be open to dream experience while staying within the broad parameters of my Catholic Faith.

Am I divining by dreams?

To me, when the Bible talks about divining, its warning against listening to the (probable) fallen angels worshipped by non-Jewish people at that particular time. I'll have more to say about this in a future post (and in the dream book) but the short answer  is, no, or not in a bad way.

Should I keep trying to wrap my head around the mysteries of the Catholic Faith?

How can I not?

Dreams can be tricky. Like many other life experiences, they can take us in the right direction or in the wrong one. But I believe they're given to us for a reason and that—as the Icon of the Resurrection clearly shows—God is always there for us.

The Dream

I had several dreams last night. The one I dreamt just before I woke up was a short dream about a beautiful green plain filled with white buffalo. Not a herd, but several (I don't remember how many exactly). The point of view of the dream was above the plain looking down. There was a voiceover saying, "they were looking out on a wide plain, but it was the white buffalo that held everyone's attention." 

Biblical Associations

When I look at a dream that I think may be spiritual, I turn to biblical and religious references first. I do this because as a Catholic, I've read the Bible and am familiar with Church traditions. So these elements tend to be part of my personal symbology. 

There are no buffalo in the Bible so I focused on the color white and the significance of a green plain. I immediately associated the green plain with the green pasture of the 23rd Psalm. To me, the 23rd Psalm is about trusting and following God.

My favorite verse about the color white is from Isaiah, so that was another easy association.

After my first impressions, I like to do a word search in an electronic Catholic Bible to find key terms (like white) and read through the verses cited. I also use Fr. Hardon's Modern Catholic Dictionary. (I have the print version but you can access the entire dictionary free online.)

There may be a lot of Bible passages for a single term, so I try to focus on those that have personal meaning to me and / or are coherent with other aspects of the dream.

While white is occasionally associated with symptoms of illness in the Bible, I don't feel that applied to this dream.

More often, white is used to describe angels, God and Jesus in the Bible. It is mentioned in connection with the transfiguration and the resurrection. There are so many references to the color white in Scripture that I can’t list them all here.

The four horses  mentioned in Revelation and in Ezekiel include a white horse. In Revelation, Jesus rides a white horse. The lamb of God who represents Jesus is white as is the countenance of the Ancient of Days.

The common denominator in all of this is that white is associated with the holiness. What's really interesting about this to me, is that the Indian meaning of the white buffalo is very similar. 

Native American Associations

I have an interest in the symbols and teachings of indigenous cultures. I knew the white buffalo was significant in Native American culture but I didn't know the details, so I decided to do some research.

I learned that there is a Lakota myth about the White Buffalo Calf woman who was a supernatural being who appeared to teach the people the seven rituals. All the rituals are fascinating but I found Wanáǧi Yuhápi or the Keeping of the Soul especially interesting.

There are prophetic ideas linked to the white buffalo as well:

This video tells the story of the White Buffalo Calf Woman:

General Associations

General associations include anything that occurs to me about the dream. It can have to do with plot, context, or symbolic meanings not previously explored.

The point of view in the dream was above, looking down. This, combined with the voiceover,   suggested an omniscient, or all-knowing narrator. A group of people were observing the white buffalo below and the buffalo were what held their attention. The unseen group thought the white buffalo were important.

Waking Context

To me, the waking context of the dream matters. This context could include related events that seem to be connected with the dream as well as any prayers or petitions that precede it.

People have practiced dream incubation from ancient times to the present day. The practice can be simple or involved. The way I usually approach dream incubation is through prayer. In this instance, I was praying for insight on my writing and learning about dreams. 

I have heard various priests say that we should just ignore our dreams and I understand why they have this opinion. But to me, Scripture and the early Church take a different view. In spite of that, I feel some conflict about working with my dreams.

Possible Meanings

• The dream reinforces the idea that dreams have meaning in many cultures. Dreams were valued in biblical times, as well as in many other cultures. 
• There are common cross-cultural themes in this dream. I am a Catholic with an interest in American Indian culture and some very distant Indian heritage, so this feels right to me.     
• I feel this dream speaks to the importance of following God (omniscient viewpoint), staying close to Jesus (lamb of God), working with my guardian angel (man in white), and cultivating virtue (holiness). These are all things to think about.
•  Because a group of people are observing the buffalo, I think the dream might be of interest to others, which is why I've posted it to the blog.
• The story of the White Buffalo Calf woman is something that I want to reflect on further.
• There are prophetic elements in both the Indian and the biblical resources. I'm not sure what that means as of this writing, but I'm open to further insight.
• I usually share important dreams with a good Catholic friend who has a gift for dream interpretation. She gave me some wonderful insight on the dream I had prior to this one but we did not get to the buffalo dream yet.

As you may have noticed, I put a lot time into interpreting this dream even though it’s short. This is why I don't take a deep dive into most of my dreams, though I do record them all. To me, it is worth the effort because there is so much to learn!

It was almost three A.M. on a summer night in 2007 and I was wide awake.

So I passed the long sleepless night on the computer, drifting from one website to the next, until I stumbled upon a bible passage I knew by heart. 

The 23rd Psalm.

I remembered how I had committed this psalm to memory as a child and how I used to recite it before bed whenever things seemed dark. So I said the old familiar passage right there over the keyboard and then I set aside my laptop and fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning with a sense of excitement I hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever. 

I didn’t usually remember my dreams, but I remembered this one. It was detailed and magical and absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. 

Heart pounding, I turned on my laptop and captured my journey through the night as quickly as I could.

*

Aside from the headings and a few minor edits, what follows is the account of the dream, as I typed it out that morning. It’s a little long, but I’ve divided it into five parts to make it easier to read and to better show the structure. 

The Dream

Part I: The Hospital

As the dream opens, I’m approaching a big hospital. I’m working as a nurse again and this is the first day of a new job and I’m not sure where to go (a common problem in many similar dreams). I go to several outside doors and find them locked. Finally, at the last door I find an elderly woman on the ground in severe pain. She tells me that she has had two difficult surgeries and that she will die before she goes back to the hospital again.

I don’t know what to do or say, so I go in through the door. I’m looking for the emergency room and at first I am lost. After asking for (and not understanding) directions (another common work dream problem) I wander onto an elevator. There is a young doctor in a brilliant white coat inside the elevator. I tell him what has happened, and he gets off and goes with me to see the woman and her relatives, who are there with her. He tells them that she doesn’t have to come into the hospital if she doesn’t want to and they take her away.

I am at a brightly lit a nurse’s station. I have the feeling that I’ve been working here for some time. And that there are no bad feelings associated with that (which has never happened to me in dreams about nursing or in my nursing career in general). The young doctor is at the station too, looking at charts. After a moment, he stops and says that he has to move away soon and that he needs to learn the route by traveling it. He suggests that we all need time away from our work and that we should go on an adventure together.

Part II: The Journey

We take two cars. There is an odd assortment of women (presumably nurses). One is very beautiful. Her eyes are a bright vivid blue and her face is high-boned and delicate. She wears a layered gown of shimmering blue silk and I find her very exotic. Around her neck hangs a deep blue sapphire necklace and some of the bluest lapis I have ever seen.

There is an older woman, as well. She looks like a woman I know in real life. She is sweet and lost and seemingly lonely, just like her real-life counterpart. There are several other women. One is young and withdrawn; the others have already faded. As it turns out, this is a journey of discovery. There are moments of awkwardness because I don’t know anyone well, but there are other moments that seem almost euphoric.

We are on a train and I spend time alone. I am sitting in a day car with many windows. The car is rushing through a sunny countryside though I am more aware of the streaming sun than I am the scenery. As I sit, an idea for a book overtakes me. The images and characters and dialogue are vivid. And they stream through my mind so quickly it is all I can do to write them down. The story is about a man involved with two women. One is young and beautiful, but she is also married and in the end, he chooses the one who is unencumbered. The manuscript flashes by from beginning to end. Somehow I capture it.

A lot of different things happen. Sometimes we’re on the train and sometimes it seems that we have disembarked along our way. We are in a jewelry store. I see many lovely things. I look at a small locket depicting a traditionally Catholic guardian angel with children, but it’s small and drab - nothing like the beautiful pieces worn by the woman in blue. I sense that it is all that is available to me but I don't buy it. In another scene, the women and I decide to swap clothing. I have a single article of clothing I’m proud of—some sort of gold and red top. I offer it to the woman in blue and she accepts it.

Part III: Our Destination

It seems that we have arrived at university or school. The woman in blue shows me a sort of screen that is not a television but a bright flowing blue divided into many different shades which appear as if pressed between two panes of clear glass. The screen swivels like an old-fashioned chalkboard and the many shades of blue swirl together in changing breathtaking patterns. It is vividly blue and has a shine to it that is almost metallic. It reminds me of a sand art item I saw once in a variety store but much, much better. Its beauty and the spectrum of blue is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.

The women and I are together in a classroom. A book review or lecture is being delivered. A man is showing us pictures from a book he has written. At first the content seems Buddhist and then it’s something else, but I don’t remember clearly just how it is different. We’re all moved by his presentation and find it very inspiring. For some reason, we know all about him and are surprised he’s become so spiritual. It seems that he was famous in some way earlier in life and that he had a bad reputation at that time.

Then I am outside with the young doctor. He asks me about my parents and I tell him something. briefly, without going into detail. He letters a sort of monument to my father (in cobalt blue). He invites me to letter the one for my mother myself, but his lettering is perfect and I have terrible handwriting (in dreams and in life). So I ask him to do it for me and he does. The monument only has my parents' names. Or I think it does because I don’t recognize the characters or letters. The monument includes no information about who they were or what they did. But it seems complete as is.

My mother’s monument transforms into an ornament made out of clear glass with deep blue lettering. I know that I’m supposed to hang it in a tree at our family homestead and, all at once, I am there. It’s not the big main farmhouse where my mother grew up but something similar to the smaller house that she lived in before my grandfather inherited the farm. There is something about the tree having been cut back in preparation. I hang the ornament on a branch and leave.

Part IV: The Return Trip 

I find myself back on the train and discover an old book. The cover is a work of art—old fashioned, intricate, tooled leather. It is dusty and a bit worse for wear, but still handsome. I’m very impressed with it. I open it and see I have written it. I’m surprised but, at the same time, I remember.

Finally, we’re at the end of our journey. We sit at a big table and talk about how we have changed. I’m wearing a sparkling red ruby or garnet bracelet. We decide that we should exchange jewelry as souvenirs of our trip.

I don’t want to give up my bracelet, but I offer it anyway, secretly hoping that the woman in blue will give me some of her lapis. Instead, she gives her jewelry to the older woman (who has nothing to offer her in return). I feel disappointed but understand that this is the right thing to do. Although my desire for the beautiful blue gemstones is strong, there is no associated envy or bitterness. I feel strongly that all is as it should be.

The young doctor thanks us and tells us that he now knows the route he should take to his new home. He does not return to the hospital and I am not sure if the women return either. I have a sense of parting. It is bittersweet, but I know it feels right and I have no regrets.

Part V: Back to the Beginning

Finally, I am back at the hospital. Someone is holding a funeral for the woman who was lying in pain just outside of the door when I first arrived. The funeral is being held on the other side of the large parking lot. It is far away, at the edge of the lot, but I can see a seated effigy draped in red and understand that this effigy represents the woman who has died.

I am now inside the hospital. A patient on the floor where I work has passed and I remember that he was the man who taught us when we were away. I know his history, so I’m not surprised that he died alone. I’m not sad about it either because I remember his lecture and know that he was at peace.

As I am leaving his room, or perhaps the floor, a young girl comes in and asks for the man. She says that she is his granddaughter and I tell her he is gone. Surprisingly, I find the right words. I tell her that it’s alright, that he has changed, and for some reason her tears are cathartic for both of us. We leave the hospital together and I have the feeling that everything has come full circle.

*

I finished typing out the dream and turned off my laptop.

I was sitting on the same couch I’d slept on, wearing the same sweat pants and t-shirt I’d worn the day before. The room was still small and cluttered, and the stereo from the house next door was already blasting.

But everything had changed.

_________

This post is excerpted from my upcoming book The Spirit Dream.

© 2024 Barbara Graver. All rights reserved.

We said goodbye apparently for good in 1984 when he was making plans to leave the area and I was making plans to marry someone else.

Naturally, a great deal has happened in the intervening years.  So it's not surprising, or in anyway indicative of my feelings, that it had been a long time since I'd thought of those days at all.

But three weeks ago I had a dream.  And my friend Tim was the leading character.  He was young and handsome in the dream and taller than I remembered.  There was a remarkable brightness about him.  And I know that kind of brightness.

He looked different but I recognized his energy.  Sensing it as if I was standing next him, stepping back in time to re-experience the soul vibration of a person I once loved.

In the dream, we met by chance.  I was living alone in a big sunny apartment and he was working at a nearby market.  We bumped into each other at his work and he asked if he could see me. Later on, standing in my dream apartment he told me he'd wanted to contact me before but that he was afraid that doing so would stir up old half-forgotten feelings. 

And then he explained what he had felt so very long ago and the hows and whys of what he did, and didn't, do.  The information was new  but surprisingly coherent, fitting in neatly with events I had wondered about but not fully understood at the time.  Seeing our history in this new light changed things.  I no longer felt responsible.  My old remorse lifted. 

After we had finished talking, we set out together on a wide boardwalk with long strings of golden lights on either side.  There was some kind of festival happening around us and I was happy in a way I'd almost forgotten.  I told him that he was right about the emotion.  "I can feel it," I said. "Can you?"

He didn't answer or if he did, I don't remember.  There was a knowing that our time was ending and that he had brought me back to where I was supposed to be.  When I woke up and considered the brilliance and the clarity of the dream, I knew that he had passed. 

Thank you for remembering me, as I remember you.

_________

This post is adapted from my upcoming book The Spirit Dream. ©2024 Barbara Graver Wilder. All rights reserved.

When I finished my upcoming book, The Spirit Dream, and turned it over to beta readers, I got some great feedback. The comments on NDE and psychic phenomena, in particular, convinced me to include an alternate viewpoint on those topics.  

A few days later, Catholic apologist Jimmy Akin  mentioned parapsychology and the Rhine Institute on his Mysterious World podcast. As it turns out, he actually taught a class on parapsychology at the Rhine. I like Jimmy Akin, so that got my attention. By the end of the day, I'd ordered a new book on parapsychology.

After reading that book, Parapsychology: The Controversial Science (affiliate link), I couldn't deny that there is statistically significant research on psychic phenomena, precognitive dreams and NDE. I realized that I had been too black and white in my thinking, both in my media and the The Spirit Dream. After some thought, I made the difficult decision to rewrite parts of the book and make some significant changes both here in the blog and in my media. 

This isn’t a 180-degree turn. I still think demonic influence is real, and that discernment is important. I still want The Spirit Dream to be cautionary in the regard. But I also think that my time as an evangelical might have influenced me more than I initially thought.

In Parapsychology: The Controversial Science, the author talks Benedict XIV and his work as promotor fidei. He ends that section by saying that Catholics were the first parapsychologists because we didn’t just accept miracles at face value and say, this supports our position. We investigated them with rigor. And to me, that is one of the things that sets Catholicism apart. We value truth. 

Now I have a new book called The Philosopher King: The Humanist Pope Benedict XIV (affiliate link), which came all the way from England and from the library of journalist, novelist and parapsychologist, Andrew Carr Mackenzie. And I can't wait to read it.

Lastly, if the scholarship stars align, I may be taking a course at the Rhine Institute about dreams and consciousness and possibly other parapsychology classes after that. My first major in school was experimental psychology, and I'm still interested in the science.

As always, I'll keep you updated!

_________

This post contains Amazon Affiliate links. If you buy something through on of my links, I'll get a small part of the sale, at no cost to you!

Instead of deleting my old posts, I simply unpublished them. This came in handy when I decided to write my testimony. To my mind, however, those old posts told the story of the person I used to be. Not the person I had become. 

But that wasn't entirely accurate.  

Starting and Restarting 

I started The Mystic Review in 2010 when I was struggling to make sense of a very unusual dream. The blog was a place where I could share my search for answers and I loved doing that. 

Unfortunately, the search I’d undertaken led into the New Age and floundered. Returning to my Catholic faith was another story.

Unlike the New Age, Catholicism answered all the big questions. Why are we here? Where are we going? How should we proceed?

I’m grateful for those answers and the certainty that the Faith provides.

But in writing my testimony, I realized that there were other questions in between the big ones. And I cared about those answers, too. So it made sense to come back to The Mystic Review and try again.

As of this writing the blog includes a mix of old and new(er) posts, many of which need to be updated.  So I hope you'll bear with me on that. 

The newer posts were posts I added to the platform after I returned to the Faith. I don't necessarily agree with everything said in these posts. I've unpublished some of these but probably not all.

The older posts need to be sorted. Most will remain unpublished.  Some will be updated. A few will be re-published, as is.

I hope to add new posts a few times a month. Topics will include dreams, angels, psychic phenomena, miracles, paranormal investigation, prayer, NDEs, spirits and more. Spiritual posts will reflect a Catholic perspective. But not all posts will be spiritual in nature.

I hope you will check back! 

In this episode of the podcast, I talk about how I've presented things like paranormal experience, NDEs and spiritual dreams in my written testimony--and why I'm rethinking my approach

As many of you know, this comes on the near eve of publication but I feel I it's something I need to correct. In the book and in life!

Future episodes will be posted to YouTube at youtube.com/@mysticreview and probably at youtube.com/barbaragraver as well - and here on the blog. On them, we'll discuss things like consciousness, dreams, and the paranormal from a Catholic perspective. 

I hope you will join me!

• Upcoming podcasts are also going to be posting on my new / old channel youtube.com/@mysticreview. 
• As always all content posts here on the blog which you can get delivered straight to your inbox by joining my email list!

About The Spirit Dream 

A Closer Look at the Cover

When it comes to the actual writing, however, I flounder.  I pray about it.  I try to write it.  I give up.  Then the cycle starts again.

Sometimes I decide it is not worth doing and step away from it entirely.  At other times I get ideas about how I might be able to make it work and start to feel like I can actually do it.  

This week was an idea week.

The idea was that I could base the testimony around the dreams have influenced me the most - for better or for worse - and how sometimes that influence is supernatural in origin. 

I trace the idea back to Catholic exorcist Fr. Chad Ripperger's book Dominion - where explains how angels and demons communicate with each other and with us.  

Both angels and demons, according to Fr. Ripperger, can put images into our minds.  But only angels can illuminate our minds so that we understand the images we've been given.  This makes sense to me given the confusion accompanies some dreams and visions.

The idea - that I could base my testimony around the clear and understandable dreams - was intriguing because dreams have been so instrumental to my story.  So I decided to look at the  dreams I'd shared in this blog.  I was especially struck by A Dream About Me?

In reading that dream, two things jumped out at me.  The first was that it seemed to be about me telling my story.  The second was that it also seemed to be about how I needed to accept my authentic self, which I've been doing lately, in this blog and elsewhere, but was definitely not doing then.  

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that this dream was angelic.  But it did speak to me.  

I'm not sure, to be honest, if I will ever publish my testimony.  But I do feel that looking at the role dreams played in my journey is worth doing.  I will be sharing some of what I learn in a future post.

______________

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Writing My Testimony

June 2022 update:  I have been waffling about writing my testimony for a long time.  Odds are, I was praying about it around the time I had this dream.  But I didn't see the connection until now.

The Dream

A contractor I apparently knew had told me about a volunteer opportunity.  He said that there was a woman living in a house that was in bad condition and that he, and some others, had been trying to help her.  So I went to see what I could do.

The house was unpleasant.  Not deplorable necessarily but ugly.  I was in the kitchen and the young woman I was supposed to help was complaining.  There were numerous problems with the property.  I remember that there was a 1980s style drop ceiling and some of the tiles were coming down.  Everything seemed flimsy and cheap.  

I didn't enjoy talking to the woman.  She was loud and obviously immature.  She was younger than me. I didn't have a strong sense of her age but she acted like an adolescent or even a pre-adolescent.  I tried to be charitable but I found her very irritating.  It seemed that she was renting and she was very unhappy with her landlady who was neglecting the property.

A little while later, I was at a dinner being held in the woman's honor.  We were seated at a long table under an old aluminum carport next to the house.  I was at the far end of the table.  I had reconnected with an old friend.  In real life, our friendship ended years ago but I've regretted that.  In the dream, I was happy to reconnect with her and eager to catch up.  She looked young and successful, just as I remembered her.

Annoyingly, the guest of honor kept demanding my attention from her end of the table.  She had written several different documents and was insisting I read them aloud.  Someone brought them to me. It was a hodgepodge of old newspaper clippings and pictures and handwritten papers.

I did not want to be bothered with the woman or her requests and kept saying that I didn't want to read what she had written.  I was angry with her for interrupting and insisting I read.  I felt that she was demanding attention she didn't deserve even though the dinner was being held in her honor.

My Take

When I woke up, I was still a little annoyed.  But then it occurred to me that the immature, attention seeking woman might be that part of myself who I don't want to acknowledge - here in this blog or anywhere.  My feelings toward her are so negative that blogging about the dream is unpleasant.

But there is something about all of this that is demanding my attention. 

I don't think it was any coincidence that I felt so much negativity toward the woman in the dream.  Other people apparently realized she needed help but, to me, she didn't deserve it.  I wanted to be left alone with my successful friend instead.  

Whether the dream was a message from God or a message from my subconscious is debatable.  But I do feel that it's significant.

Looking at the Symbolism